Jesse Kortuem, a former competitive hockey player, recently shared a personal story about his life in the sport. He credited the popular TV series ‘Heated Rivalry’ with giving him the final push to talk about his experiences publicly. Kortuem, who is gay, spoke about the long journey of hiding his identity while playing a sport he loved. He now hopes his story helps other athletes who feel the same way.
Kortuem did not play in the NHL, but he was a serious player. He worked as a defenseman and center in several leagues. He told Out magazine that the success of ‘Heated Rivalry’ affected many people in the hockey community. “I know many closeted and gay men in the hockey world are being hit hard by Heated Rivalry’s success,” Kortuem said. He added that he never thought something so positive could come from such a traditionally tough sport. The show made him think it was time to share his own journey.
The show ‘Heated Rivalry’ is a romance drama about two professional hockey players. Their relationship is a secret because they worry about their careers. The show became a hit online and has been renewed for a second season on Crave and HBO Max. It recently became available to watch in the UK on Sky.
Jesse Kortuem’s Personal Journey With Hockey and Identity
Kortuem grew up in Minnesota, a state famous for its passion for hockey. He was the youngest of four boys in a very competitive family. Sports were a big part of their lives. In a detailed social media post, Kortuem described the mixed feelings he had about the hockey rink. While he loved the sounds of the game, he also saw it as a place where he had to hide who he was.
“I loved the game, but I lived with a persistent fear. I wondered how I could be gay and still play such a tough and masculine sport,” Kortuem wrote.
As a teenager in the 2000s, Kortuem felt he had no choice but to stay quiet. He saw very little positive representation of gay people in the media at that time. He worried that coming out would cause major problems at his large high school. The pressure became too much, and at age 17, he made the difficult decision to leave his high school hockey team. He walked away from the friendships and the sport that had been a huge part of his life.
Life as an Adult Player and Finding a Community
Kortuem returned to hockey as an adult, playing at a high level in cities like New York and Atlanta. By then, he was open about his sexuality with his close friends and family. However, he still could not bring himself to tell his teammates.
He described living a double life. On the ice, he was a skilled player. Off the ice, he felt like he was still that scared kid from Minnesota. Conversations in the locker room about dating or family life were stressful. He would quickly change the subject or say he was single, even if he was seeing someone.
“I spent every week in a locker room with guys I respected, yet I still did not feel safe enough to tell them who I truly was,” he shared.
This struggle reached a point where Kortuem almost quit hockey for good in 2017. Instead, he decided to try one last thing. He signed up for a gay hockey tournament in Las Vegas called the SinCity Classic. This decision changed everything. At the tournament, he met a group of guys from the Las Vegas Boyz. For the first time, he was around other men who were both serious hockey players and gay.
“From that moment forward, my life has never been the same,” Kortuem stated.
This experience led him to find welcoming teams like the Cutting Edges in Vancouver and the Misfits in Toronto.
The Direct Impact of ‘Heated Rivalry’ and a Message to Others
Kortuem is a private person who does not often post on social media. He wrote that watching ‘Heated Rivalry’ create a positive conversation finally inspired him to speak up. “Lately, something has sparked in me (ok – yes credit to #HeatedRivalry). I realized it is finally time to share a journey I have kept close to the vest for a long time,” he posted.
He is not the only person affected by the show. Hudson Williams, the actor who plays Shane Hollander on the series, recently shared that he has received messages from closeted professional athletes. These athletes, from hockey and other sports, have reached out to him anonymously.
Kortuem ended his post with a direct message to other athletes. He wants them to know they are not alone. “I want to speak to the athletes out there who are still in the closet or struggling to find their way. I want you to know that there is hope and you’re not alone,” he wrote. “You will get through this, and it is going to be okay”.
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The Bigger Picture for LGBTQ+ People in Hockey
Kortuem’s story highlights a broader issue in professional hockey. The NHL has never had an openly gay player actively competing in the league. In 2021, Luke Prokop made history by becoming the first player under an NHL contract to come out as gay. However, he plays for an affiliate team in the American Hockey League (AHL) and has not yet played in an NHL game.
Prokop recently told the New York Times that some teams still see LGBTQ+ players as a potential “distraction.” This attitude can make it very hard for players to be open about who they are. The NHL’s policies have also been inconsistent. In 2023, the league banned special Pride Night jerseys and rainbow-colored tape after some players refused to participate in Pride events. That tape ban was reversed when Arizona Coyotes defenseman Travis Dermott used rainbow tape on his stick during a game.
For Kortuem, finding a team like the Cutting Edges Hockey Club was essential. After playing with them at a Winter Classic event in Sun Peaks, British Columbia, he felt a sense of peace. He wrote that wearing their jersey, which represented both hockey and the LGBTQ+ community, felt like “a bridge being built over a gap I had lived with for decades”.
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